Tuesday, 22 April 2014

And That Is On My List


. And That Is On My List.

 I Assured her in a serious calm but accretive voice that she has plenty of time to get to school and I don't need to drive her. She flips her hair at me and busts out the door commenting to the air "If you had waken me up earlier"  I wanted to scream after her the fact that her father had woke her at 7 before he left for work and told her she should get up. I didn't though, I just watched her march down the street with her little brother silently lagging behind her. I closed the door and watched from the window for a minute hoping maybe I would get a look back and a wave. I didn't, just her marching and my son slowly walking with his head down a good 6 feet behind her. I left the window, picked up my coffee and turned on the computer.

In front of me I have a list of household chores, a note book full of exciting crafting ideas and a half finished Resume. Today is Monday. As of Saturday I have been on Stress leave from my full time job. I have allot of things I have to accomplish in the next three months. I have a lot of people expecting a lot from me and I have these awful feelings of guilt built up inside of me. I have anger and regret, but mostly sadness that I have let myself become this way. Yes I need therapy and that is on my list.